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A Little About Me...
Author, Libra, Human-ish...
I'm creative by nature but I was told, from a young age, that I could never make a living at being creative. After years of fighting my true self and listening to everyone aside from myself. I've decided to prove those people wrong, once and for all!
My accounts, my book, my shop, this website, and all creative outlets are being hosted under a pseudonym. To be clear, this isn't because of shame or any other factor than to protect my children. Everything else is truthful and, at times, brutally honest.
Okay... Now, a lot.
I'm an author and motivator, as well as a crocheter and lover of handmade items. I enjoy being a foodie, expert tea tester, and self-proclaimed coffee addict.
I'm a country girl at heart. Born and raised in a small town in Kentucky. I grew up loving the outdoors and during a time before technology, I would spend hours and hours outside. Alone with just my notebook and favorite fine ballpoint pen, the outdoors became my inspiration for many poems and short stories. After years of writing, I knew I wanted to make a future as a writer. I was heartbroken after being advised that I would never make a living as a writer. It wasn't that I didn't have the writing skills I needed to become a professional writer and author, it was the people advising me.
When people around you make you feel inadequate, you start to believe that you're exactly that.
Well...
To quote Nelson Medela:
"Our deepest fears are not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be?"
As a child, I was made to feel inadequate and inferior to others around me. A stark contrast to how my older brothers were treated in comparison. No matter how hard I tried, it was never good enough. I carried this negativity with me for years. I fought against who I was for many years, I tried to get "normal" jobs and I've literally worked in more fields. Nothing suited me, which just added to the negativity that became my life. From day to day, I did everything in my power to barely exist. I wasn't really living my life. My life was still being dictated by the words that haunted my childhood. "You're not good enough, you'll never be good enough." I believed them. I believed them and not myself. This negativity didn't just span into my professional life but into my personal life as well.
Craving a connection that didn't make me feel the negativity that had consumed my life, I searched for someone that would compliment me. However, I didn't know who I was or what would compliment me. This lead to finding people that needed just as much work as I did. I mean zero disrespect to anyone, I knew I needed a lot of work. I didn't know that at the time but looking back, it's scary that I didn't notice the damage being done.
After a horrible relationship that involved mental and emotional abuse, along with controlling manipulation. I had to get out. I wasn't only talking about the relationship, I meant my life. I'd be lying to say that suicide didn't cross my mind, it's was difficult to keep those thoughts at bay for a long time. It wasn't until much later that I realized what was really going on. That particular relationship ended in May of 2017 and by July of the same year, I was an empty shell. It was then that I left who I was and that life behind me.
Now, I didn't jump off the face of the planet and come back with a new identity. I thought seriously about it for a while, but instead, I choose to reinvent myself and everything I knew about life. Something I like to call, "Stronger alone, then lonely". This isn't just a life motto, it's a fully functioning and well-evolved mantra that I repeat to myself daily. It has absolutely saved my life!
Remember this. I would rather be alone and drama-free than spend valuable time in a relationship with someone that makes you feel lonely and unappreciated. Your time, your opinions, and yourself. Is worth being treated better!
This website is dedicated to my loved ones and those people that helped me along the way. This adventure wouldn't be possible without each and every one of you. Thank you from the bottom depths of my heart.